In a world full of unimaginable absurdity, we spend a lot of time thinking about the future… and to where all of this insanity leads.
“Future Headline Friday” is our satirical take of where the world is going if it remains on its current path. While our satire may be humorous and exaggerated, rest assured that everything we write is based on actual events, news stories, personalities, and pending legislation.
December 8, 2025: US Supreme Court rules 21-6 to uphold Life Sentence for Donald Trump
After a mysterious pneumonia began spreading in China beginning in late 2023, media outlets such as the New York Times, Washington Post, CNN, and MSNBC all adamantly claimed— based on information disseminated by Chinese government and the WHO— that the new virus affected children the most, and that the death rate would be more than 20%.
By early 2024, Randi Weingarten, president of the American Federation of Teachers, insisted that schools be shut down. President Biden quickly complied with her demand, issuing a nationwide Executive Order requiring all schools to shut down.
His order was immediately challenged in court, with the US 5th Circuit issuing an injunction against the President’s order. Mr. Biden and his Senate allies then quickly appointed 18 new justices to the Supreme Court.
This newly expanded court then ruled 21-6 in favor of Mr. Biden that his executive order was constitutional, and that he had the legal authority to shut down America’s schools.
Days later the court also ruled 21-6 that Mr. Biden did not abuse his authority when he added 18 new justices to the court.
Subsequently, in March 2024, when President Biden brought Anthony Fauci out of retirement and awarded him sweeping emergency powers to manage the pandemic response, this appointment was also challenged.
But the Supreme Court once again ruled 21-6 that the President did, in fact, have the legal authority to award Dr. Fauci absolute power.
Dr. Fauci then canceled the 2024 election, citing non-specific pandemic concerns. And when this order was challenged, it was also upheld by the Supreme Court in a 21-6 ruling.
Other landmark rulings of the expanded Court include its 21-6 decision to overturn all of Hunter Biden’s criminal convictions, and 21-6 decision to eliminate the debt ceiling.
This morning, however, the Court issued perhaps the biggest decision in its history when it announced (after two days of deliberation) it would uphold the life sentence for former President Trump, who was convicted last year of multiple crimes.
Once again the vote was 21-6.
Justices Nancy Pelosi and Alvin Bragg co-wrote the Court’s brief majority opinion, stating simply, “Have a nice life. Sentence. LOL.”
Justice Claudine Gay, the former President of Harvard University, wrote in her concurring opinion that “with Donald Trump behind bars, the world will be one step closer to finally eradicating the Zionists. From the River to the Sea!”
In a dissenting opinion, Justices Gorsuch and Alito expressed utter horror for the state of the nation, writing, “We cannot recognize this country any longer.” Though Dr. Fauci has announced that the will declare their opinion disinformation and cancel it from the public record.