Friday humor: you can’t make this stuff up


May 2, 2014
New York City

20 years in prison.

That’s the penalty you could face for travelling to a country the President has labelled to be “of concern”.

Sending any form of monetary assistance to people in the country merits further steep penalties.

Recently introduced in Congress, ‘The International Conflicts of Concern Act’ gives the President the power to ban travel to certain countries with the flick of his pen.

And the only way around the ban is by applying to the Treasury Department for a special license.

A travel license to leave the country? These kinds of ‘people controls’ are synonymous with regimes like North Korea and Cuba—the latter of which has of course largely been off limits for US citizens for decades.

So far the first country they’ve chosen is Syria, where Director of National Intelligence, James Clapper, warns that terrorist cells are using the country as a training ground to radicalize foreign nationals.

Their logic? Apparently US citizens might go to Syria and learn to be terrorists. So it’s for your own good, you see.

If you’ve been following the news, the situation in Syria is indeed concerning.

There’ve been several stories from Syria about a new terrorist cell that has been bringing deadly weapons into the country. Their latest shipment included 50 TOW missiles, which are powerful enough to pierce through armored tanks.

This organization has also been ramping up its training programs both in Syria and in neighboring Jordan to more effectively militarize the conflict.

This is definitely a problem—a dangerous terrorist cell bringing in armored piercing weapons and militarized training programs into Syria could pose a major threat to America.

The thing is, this isn’t Al Qaeda I’m talking about. You’ve probably guessed—the terrorist cell in Syria I’m talking about is actually the US government.

Uncle Sam is supplying an increasing amount of taxpayer funded weapons to this hostile region, as well as sending in special operations forces to train groups that they’ve determined to be “moderate” rebels.

Needless to say, the US government has a pretty dismal record when it comes to arms dealing given that they’ve mistakenly placed military grade weaponry in the hands of drug cartels, dictators, and yes, terrorists. Oops.

Resolute not to make the same mistake twice (or for the hundredth time, as it were), the US government has a solution.

This time around, the Syrian fighters are posting videos on YouTube to prove that they’ve received these weapons (courtesy of the American taxpayer) and are using them for their intended purposes.

You just can’t make this stuff up…

While something as innocuous as travelling abroad is enough to get the average American 20 years in prison, the government is using your tax dollars to aid terrorism directly… and using YouTube as their auditor.

Sounds about right for a terrorist organization whose leader has a Nobel Peace Prize.

Share this article

About the author

Stay in the loop

Get our new Articles delivered Straight to your inbox, right as we publish them...

Share via
Copy link